Blogging is hard. I have a lot of respect for bloggers - and people who write books. It's a scary thing to put your thoughts out there all exposed - it's also a privilege. I often get tied up in what to write. I might start a paragraph or start to think about a certain topic, but than I'll back track. I back track because I want what I write to mean something, to have a reason for being there, not just cus.
Today can be my jus cus day - I'll probably end up having more, but here's a try. Here are my unfiltered thoughts
I'm currently listening to Sons and Daughters - this song to be exact
Today on the train I sat next to a stranger, I always sit next to a stranger actually. At the beginning of my metra train rides - I would talk to the strangers and introduce myself, I thought that's what you're supposed to do so that it's not awkward sitting so close to a stranger and for so long (1 hour). Just a little background. I ride the metra everyday to work, it's an hour train ride and than walk to the cta and ride to work for about 20 mins. Altogether the commute takes two hours one way. Anyways, today this stranger I sat by was NOT happy. She flumped down next to me, no I don't think flumps a word, and sat there so ...angry looking. I was studying for the GRE with notecards balancing on my leg, some on top and than some underneath my leg, and some in my hand. She was taking her coat of with some tude, and knocked my notecards on the floor!!! I was a little perturbed, I will admit, because she didn't even acknowledge that she did it. She ignored it and so I had to bend to the floor and in my backpack and on the seat to pick them up. I was wondering if she knew that it was her that made this mess or if she thought it was me because she seemed more annoyed by this. Anyways, so I was contemplating whether or not I should show some contempt and pick up the notecards with tude, but that really wouldn't do anything except make for awkward ride.
So we rode together for an hour in silence. She read a book and than slept some..and spaced some. I know, creepy, I pay attention to whats going on a little bit too much, all while studying - hopefully something stuck in my membrane....
So we rode together for an hour in silence. Than as she was getting ready to leave and stood up her black umbrella, medium sized, fell and hit my foot pretty hard. This time I wasn't perturbed but wondered what was going to happen next - would she bend down or would I pick it up? Translate - would I be a jerk and make her pay for dropping it on my foot and pick it up herself or would I pick it up. I picked it up and as I handed it to her we made eye contact, she smiled a pretty smile, a genuine smile and said thank you, and I smiled and nodded my head and than she left. I don't really know the point of sharing this story - but it is what came to mind first. I think I was wondering what would have happened had I not picked it up and also if she just needed some quite time and solice on that train. People on the train don't seem happy.
In other ramblings - my brother is listening to loud music in the other room. I wish I was closer to him. I think we would get along really well. I don't know how I can connect with so many people but have a hard time connecting with my own brother.
Time for me to get back to studying. This was fun. Thanks for reading if you go this far. And also, if you can add some profound reasoning to my story - that'd be cool with me because as of right now, it's just an hour in the day.
Alison Garza
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Study Night - doing it right
Tonight is study night. Tonight is the "Alison you must be productive and study night," And I will go to many different lengths to procrastinate - this is one of them.
Thursday was the vision field trip with kids from Orozco Academy. CPS (Chicago Public Schools) does annual hearing and vision screenings and the kids who failed the vision screening or have broken glasses get the opportunity to visit a free glasses clinic that gives the kids eye exams and free glasses. It is an awesome program. We brought 29 kids and went from room to room with them as they got various parts of the screenings. Jessica (my awesome co worker) took some candid photos BUT because of laws about posting photos of kids that aren't yours on the internet - I am unable to share them. LAME.
Tiredness has also been a theme of the week. My boss told me there's good tired and bad tired but I"ll be tired for the rest of my life. I truly hope this is not true. However, I'm beginning to slightly...somewhat..possibly..understand what grown ups were talking about when they'd refuse to do something fun because of being tired and reply with "I'm old." Goodness. Eclessiastes 12 is what just came to mind.
Ok, as much as I would love to continue with some ramblings - time is passing and seriously, I need to study and do well on the GRE. WOOOOo!!!!!!!!
(I know those exclamation points make it look like I am excited, but looks can be deceiving - to be truthful, those are anti exclamation points and that woo should be ulta de capped) :D
Alison
Thursday was the vision field trip with kids from Orozco Academy. CPS (Chicago Public Schools) does annual hearing and vision screenings and the kids who failed the vision screening or have broken glasses get the opportunity to visit a free glasses clinic that gives the kids eye exams and free glasses. It is an awesome program. We brought 29 kids and went from room to room with them as they got various parts of the screenings. Jessica (my awesome co worker) took some candid photos BUT because of laws about posting photos of kids that aren't yours on the internet - I am unable to share them. LAME.
Tiredness has also been a theme of the week. My boss told me there's good tired and bad tired but I"ll be tired for the rest of my life. I truly hope this is not true. However, I'm beginning to slightly...somewhat..possibly..understand what grown ups were talking about when they'd refuse to do something fun because of being tired and reply with "I'm old." Goodness. Eclessiastes 12 is what just came to mind.
Ok, as much as I would love to continue with some ramblings - time is passing and seriously, I need to study and do well on the GRE. WOOOOo!!!!!!!!
(I know those exclamation points make it look like I am excited, but looks can be deceiving - to be truthful, those are anti exclamation points and that woo should be ulta de capped) :D
Alison
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Mini Update: keepin' it realz
These upcoming weeks are going to fly by! There is so much to get done at home and at work and so many people to see. I should be overwhelmed, but instead I am super excited, I want to enjoy every moment of it; I hope it goes slooooowlllly.
On May 23rd I will retake the GRE, and studying is a MUST. I've taken it twice (not proud) and done ok on the exam. While many schools say the score isn't that important on their websites - I've talked to enough admission advisers to know that the score matters and does determine acceptances and scholarships. I've also seen my dedicated co worker study hard core for the GRE and do well - she's my inspiration (*cough* Jessica *cough*)
In other news - my room is a mess. So it is time to clean. My mom told me yesterday, "Alison, you are not aloud to have a messy AND dirty room, this is completely unacceptable." The messy stands for the clothes, papers, books, and random things laying around; the dirty stand for the dried, footprint shaped dirt marks that were lying on my floor. I had forgotten that my shoes had dried up dirt on them before placing them on my feet and walking around the room. Yes, I looked back and was concerned - but at the time I was running late for work so I made a mental note to clean it later, took off my shoes, and put them back on by the door before leaving for work. Time passed quickly and a few days went by before I was able to vacuum it. Really not a necessary story to share - but little details like these make living at home fun. :) For me and my parents.
Before I get to cleaning: Here's a song to listen to:
PEACE
Alison Garza
Monday, April 2, 2012
Please Be My Strength
The song "Please be my strength" by Gungor has been playing in my head these past few days. Whenever fear begins to set in or thoughts of defeat try to creep their way in - this song serves as a reminder that I am not alone, and that God is there to be my strength. I don't have to worry or let the "what ifs" control my thoughts and actions - instead I am learning to place all trust in God.
Please Be My Strength - By Gungor LISTEN!
I also went running during a retreat in New Buffalo. I recorded a video of Lake Michigan and this website has an option to upload video. So here goes a trial. :)
WOO! MONDAY!
Alison Garza
a note for anyone that wants to upload a video - it takes quite some time to upload! :) Let me know if if does/doesn't work. AND sorry for running with the camera phone. I got excited
Please Be My Strength - By Gungor LISTEN!
I also went running during a retreat in New Buffalo. I recorded a video of Lake Michigan and this website has an option to upload video. So here goes a trial. :)
WOO! MONDAY!
Alison Garza
a note for anyone that wants to upload a video - it takes quite some time to upload! :) Let me know if if does/doesn't work. AND sorry for running with the camera phone. I got excited
Monday, February 27, 2012
Bolivia
Great News!
Lord willing I will be going to Bolivia this upcoming summer. I say Lord willing because I am currently in the process of writing the support letters and things are not set in stone yet. "We can make our plans - but the Lord determines our steps."
Why Bolivia? Last Fall I reached out to a long-time friend from Alpine Chapel to meet with and learn about his experience with International Teams. I also told him that I had no direct plans over the next year and would really like to get involved in international service. He told me about various places in Latin America but Bolivia caught my attention with what they are doing there. There are a couple of orphanages set up and they are supported through micro-businesses there in Bolivia.
As time progressed I became more excited about the possibilities. I watched youtube videos online and talked with family and friends about it; but something was holding me back, money. I didn't want to have to ask people for money. If I had my own way I would pay for the trip myself and completely deplete my savings. The idea made me uncomfortable, especially with knowing how much I would enjoy this trip.
Than in February I attended the rock and road worship show (with Lecrae - an awesome christian rapper) and Compassion International was there as a partner. Two weeks earlier Wes Stafford, the CEO of Compassion, had spoken at Willow Creek Community Church. He spoke about his experiences growing up and the impact that a moment can leave on a child. I completely agree with the impact that moments can have on our lives, especially as children. As he spoke I thought about the kids I see daily at the Chicago Public School I work at, and the kids I might meet in Bolivia, and wondered if God might use me at different moments, for his glory, in their lives. Fast forward to the concert and a Compassion representative was talking about supporting a child from across the world. I felt compelled to raise my hand; I had always thought about sponsoring a child, but what was holding me back? My hand raised and I walked to meet a volunteer who handed me a packet with a child inside. As I walked back up the steps I took a peak at the name and location and exclaimed "Bolivia!" In that moment, I knew. "I'm going to visit this boy." There was a feeling of peace and no more indecision in my mind to move forward with International Teams and to go to Bolivia.
So here I am today - working on the letter of support. I'm excited to see what happens and grateful for the guidance I've received from friends and family. Perhaps now, this blog will turn into a real blog, with real interesting updates - or not. :)
On a completely different note - I have this horrible cold and have gone through an entire box (and more) of tissues within the last day. it's insannnnne. I'm actually pretty amazed by this cold and how crazy cool our bodies are with these immune systems and its ability to recover. YEP. latas,
OH, and of course, here is a video of Lecrae. GO HARD!
Go Hard - Lecrae onnnn youtube
Alison G
Lord willing I will be going to Bolivia this upcoming summer. I say Lord willing because I am currently in the process of writing the support letters and things are not set in stone yet. "We can make our plans - but the Lord determines our steps."
Why Bolivia? Last Fall I reached out to a long-time friend from Alpine Chapel to meet with and learn about his experience with International Teams. I also told him that I had no direct plans over the next year and would really like to get involved in international service. He told me about various places in Latin America but Bolivia caught my attention with what they are doing there. There are a couple of orphanages set up and they are supported through micro-businesses there in Bolivia.
As time progressed I became more excited about the possibilities. I watched youtube videos online and talked with family and friends about it; but something was holding me back, money. I didn't want to have to ask people for money. If I had my own way I would pay for the trip myself and completely deplete my savings. The idea made me uncomfortable, especially with knowing how much I would enjoy this trip.
Than in February I attended the rock and road worship show (with Lecrae - an awesome christian rapper) and Compassion International was there as a partner. Two weeks earlier Wes Stafford, the CEO of Compassion, had spoken at Willow Creek Community Church. He spoke about his experiences growing up and the impact that a moment can leave on a child. I completely agree with the impact that moments can have on our lives, especially as children. As he spoke I thought about the kids I see daily at the Chicago Public School I work at, and the kids I might meet in Bolivia, and wondered if God might use me at different moments, for his glory, in their lives. Fast forward to the concert and a Compassion representative was talking about supporting a child from across the world. I felt compelled to raise my hand; I had always thought about sponsoring a child, but what was holding me back? My hand raised and I walked to meet a volunteer who handed me a packet with a child inside. As I walked back up the steps I took a peak at the name and location and exclaimed "Bolivia!" In that moment, I knew. "I'm going to visit this boy." There was a feeling of peace and no more indecision in my mind to move forward with International Teams and to go to Bolivia.
So here I am today - working on the letter of support. I'm excited to see what happens and grateful for the guidance I've received from friends and family. Perhaps now, this blog will turn into a real blog, with real interesting updates - or not. :)
On a completely different note - I have this horrible cold and have gone through an entire box (and more) of tissues within the last day. it's insannnnne. I'm actually pretty amazed by this cold and how crazy cool our bodies are with these immune systems and its ability to recover. YEP. latas,
OH, and of course, here is a video of Lecrae. GO HARD!
Go Hard - Lecrae onnnn youtube
Alison G
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Passion Conference
In about 2 hours I will begin the drive to ATL (Atlanta, Georgia) for the Passion Conference. I am psyched - kind of. If I wasn't so tired I think I would be much more excited. I feel like I should write on the blog only when there is sustenance to what I'm saying, but considering the new year, and the big event that I am about to embark on, I figured the night must be blog worthy.
The new year began...yesterday. Although somebody made a good point that we can start new whenever we want, sometimes we're just too lazy. I concur. I've thought about making a new years resolution but than again I've also heard that it's not a good idea to go around spreading ideas about what you're going to do because than you receive affirmation from people about your "goal" or whatever it is and get some of those feelings you get from reaching that goal ( a slight sense of accomplishment or approval), and than it becomes less likely that you will actually go through with the goal. That was a terrible paraphrase of the whole thing, but I read it once online to be honest, it was an article about people who tell others they're going on a diet. This is strange, as I'm typing I'm recalling more details to the article - how many compartments do our brains have to store things?
Moving on. So anyways, I'm not sure I have a new years resolution. I have so much to work on I wouldn't know where to begin. If 2011 accomplished anything, which it did, it would be that it pointed out a TON of flaws. I think that happens every year but the flaws are pointed out in a much more subtle manner. So, I'm 23, on the verge of spontaneous combustion woa is me (incubus), haha no but really. I need to get moving. Always need to be moving. Never complacent and always uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with the injustices, which I will admit is very ambiguous phrase, but it doesn't take away the value or the need to realize it time and time again. I also need to keep moving while taking away the me in everything. I think I heard from somewhere once that somebody prayed to be humbled no matter what it takes, and than told the usual store of despair and redemption, but something like that. Talk about ambiguous and making on sense at all. Well, to whomever might read this. Please excuse my incoherent babbling. It is 12:30 in the morning the day after New Years Eve celebration. Have a wonderful day.
The new year began...yesterday. Although somebody made a good point that we can start new whenever we want, sometimes we're just too lazy. I concur. I've thought about making a new years resolution but than again I've also heard that it's not a good idea to go around spreading ideas about what you're going to do because than you receive affirmation from people about your "goal" or whatever it is and get some of those feelings you get from reaching that goal ( a slight sense of accomplishment or approval), and than it becomes less likely that you will actually go through with the goal. That was a terrible paraphrase of the whole thing, but I read it once online to be honest, it was an article about people who tell others they're going on a diet. This is strange, as I'm typing I'm recalling more details to the article - how many compartments do our brains have to store things?
Moving on. So anyways, I'm not sure I have a new years resolution. I have so much to work on I wouldn't know where to begin. If 2011 accomplished anything, which it did, it would be that it pointed out a TON of flaws. I think that happens every year but the flaws are pointed out in a much more subtle manner. So, I'm 23, on the verge of spontaneous combustion woa is me (incubus), haha no but really. I need to get moving. Always need to be moving. Never complacent and always uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with the injustices, which I will admit is very ambiguous phrase, but it doesn't take away the value or the need to realize it time and time again. I also need to keep moving while taking away the me in everything. I think I heard from somewhere once that somebody prayed to be humbled no matter what it takes, and than told the usual store of despair and redemption, but something like that. Talk about ambiguous and making on sense at all. Well, to whomever might read this. Please excuse my incoherent babbling. It is 12:30 in the morning the day after New Years Eve celebration. Have a wonderful day.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
To Digest
A Franciscan Benediction
"May God Bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, So that you may live deep within your heart.
May God Bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, So that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God Bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war, So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.
And May God Bless you with enough foolishness,
To believe that you can make a difference in the world, So that you can do what others think cannot be done.
To bring justice and kindess to all our children and the poor. Amen."
And this song: Oh my God by Jars of Clay
Read it, Listen to it, and Digest.
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