I've been thinking about updating this blog for quite some time. But every time I had a free moment, my mind was too tired to write. Even my journals have been a bit short. The last entry I wrote ended with zzzzzzz - and I feel asleep with it beside me.
Needless to say. Life has been good, but I have never been stretched so thin and at the beginning of our spring break (official today) I find myself exhausted. So today I layed in bed and tried to still my mind. I could feel my heart beating erratically as my mind began to spin, I've got this break, and then what's next?
I have one more quarter, just ten short weeks, left here at the Pasadena Campus, I can scarcely believe it. And so these next few weeks will have to be lived with intention. Intention and attention.
It's in these seasons of discernment that all my senses must really be tuned to what God is doing and how He is moving. Attention must be payed to the details that I really dislike, like planning ahead, and intentional steps much be taken to spend more time with people that I will soon be missing. With roughly four months left in this place, the present days are filled with precious moments to treasure and friends to embrace. Is this the life I am called to? A life of constant change?
So laying in bed today I made a choice. The choice I made is to enjoy it all. To enjoy this season of uncertainty and to enter it with excitement. Although, to be honest, it's not always easy to enjoy. Often times, this decision has to be made more than once because feeling like you're blindfolded for an extended period of time is not always the most fun. However, not knowing the next step is part of the mystery of God that draws us closer to knowing Him through the most loving, caring, and compassionate relationship that we could experience. That's something to enjoy!
So this metaphor usually brings some comfort. I'm like a little thread in a big tapestry. I can't quite see what's being woven, but I can rest in the hope that it's something great, the ups and downs, ins and outs, are all done with purposeful precision to be part of God's masterpiece! In this I rest.
So that is a quick update on the status of the inner dialogue that is beginning this week - uncertain joy and renewal through rest! I am excited to take time to relax!
I like this song.
