ouuu your love is a symphony

I've been keeping my eyes wide open ^  OUUUUUU your love is a symphony

Meeting, reading, singing, sleeping, running, working, eating - just ya know living life....

I've been waiting for June for months now - and it is finally almost here!  June is a result of months of all those things listed above (and I suppose time too).. and I can scarcely wait to enjoy it.

Stay tuned.

I want a dog.  Never thought I liked dogs...or kids...but they're always drawn to me..God knew.  P.S.  that doesn't mean I want a kid...just that I enjoy their company

Family Video! WORK.  My mom said that if I didn't work there, then I wouldn't be having the conversations I'm having with customers - gives a nice perspective to the job.

My mom likes to invent workouts for herself.. It works...

I came home late one night and this happened.  Precious.

Until next time!!....SMILE

If I let these dreams die - if I lay down all my wounded pride...

If I let these dreams die, will I find - the letting go lets me come alive?

Empty my hands, fill up my heart, capture my mind with you. - Tenth Avenue North (Empty My Hands)

Decision time. Scatterbrained points from months of conversations and hardcore reflection

I should be freaking out about now.  I normally would be freaking out about now, reading books upon books about God's will for life, hanging onto every word that people say while trying to decode the messages for direction.  Normally, that is me.  Actually - that was me a few months ago.

I will say though, the good part about taking all of that "what in the world am I here for" questions seriously, and frantically searching for answers, is that you meet tons of people and gain a bit of wisdom along the way, so that when the times really comes to make decisions, you already know what to do.

You take the next best step.

Sounds so ambiguous right?  That's what I thought when listening to a sermon on Moody a few months back.  Ok. So - How do you know what the next best step is?  How do you know it's the right next best step?  What if that next best step leads me to a place I don't want to be, can I backtrack on that step?  a couple of steps?  You get the idea right.  Worry.

I've been learning though, worrying, is really a lack of trust.

Taking the next best step isn't ambiguous when our heart is literally and seriously aligned with scriptures, and all that God is, and who he has created us to be.  God makes promises in that thing we call a bible, and God calls us to live a certain way.  And God still leads us today.

So here is a recap of conversations, sermons, books, and thoughts that have penetrated my heart these past few months.
1. Draw near to God and he will draw close to you.  (James 4:8)

2.  Check your motives, reasoning, thoughts, and desires - do they align with scriptures?  If not - OUCH, and pray for forgiveness, guidance, help, tons of help.  tons.  Repeat.

3.  Ask God to reveal who you are to the core, and pay attention to what is going on around you, friends and family, all that good stuff. (psalm 139)

4.  Pay attention to what makes your heart beat faster, what gives you a rush of joy and makes you happy?  Analyze that. Porque.  (why?)

5.  Seek Wise Counsel. (Proverbs 11:14)  Ask others to meet with you, don't be scared, and open up, and listen.  Keep your mouth shut and use discernment on what they are saying if it is right and true.  The shut up part is important.

6.  Pray always - continually - all the time - wherever you are - be thankful always - just cause. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-17)

7.  Trust God - Really.  If things aren't going your way, don't force it.  Unless it is so wrong that you are convicted and have the urge to act right away! (like something unjust) (Proverbs 3:5-6)

8.  Be still.  (Be still and know that I am God)  Let God be God in your life.  Rest in his promises. (Psalm 46:10)

9.  Be Patient.  God is always working.  (Romans 8:28)

10.  Be courageous and take a chance with something, be proactive.  While there is wisdom in waiting and being patient, there is also wisdom in not justifying laziness.  We aren't robots, sometimes we have to do stuff to make things happen too.  (little faithfulness, much will be rewarded - luke 16:10) (Joshua 1:9)

11.  God loves everyone.  EVERYONE.  And created everyone.  So.  Everyone is pretty cool.  It's not cool to not like people, even if they hurt you.  Goes along with that mantra..hate the sin, love the sinner.  We're all sinners though, and all fall short.  So love yourself too. (John 3:16)

12.  Prepare - prepare your heart, prepare your mind, prepare your life for God to rock it. (Job 11:13)

13.  We're all human.  We all make mistakes.  Don't put Godly expectations on people because they will let you down and than you become cynical and judgmental   Accept others, gently direct, show mercy so that God can show you mercy because God knows we all need it.  TONS.  (Romans 3:23) and (Mathew 5:7)

14.  Um...Repent.  Really.  My friend once explained to me the difference between sinning repeatedly and repenting.  Repenting means turning from it and doing whatever it takes to stop sinning.  so..really...mean it and take steps to avoid wrong-doing.  We will fail, but honestly trying is better than not trying at all.  (Psalm 25)

15.  Live in the present - Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  If we look to the past, we get trapped, if we look to the future, we miss the gifts of today.  (Mathew 6:34)

16.  Love.  LOVE hard.  don't be so concerned with yourself, concern yourself with others.  Often times love can guide you places you never would have gone before.  disclaimer:  Love hurts.  When you love you open yourself up to engage in another's pain - so make sure you got your life line connected to Jesus for some one on one healing time too....(Mathew 22:27-39)

I don't think life comes down to a formula or even steps to be the best person ever, really it all comes down to love. Anyways...I could be wrong on some of these, but they're points that have slowly been engraved in my heart these past few months after spending time abroad, having my heart broken by many different things, and in forming new friendships with amazing people who have spoken into my life through their own stories, advice, or actions.

All this to say.  I'm making a big decision over these next 2 weeks.  But all the stuff listed above has really helped me to understand that God is in control, so why worry?  Please pray for me.  I need it.

took this yesterday while driving, clouds always moving, so pretty

Do everything you want to do!! (with wisdom) Ecc 11:9

mama!! before going to the gym...yipee!  she comes home in two hours to go with me today

Skyping a friend, Oscar, In Bolivia...technology is amazing.

hahahahaha sorry mom.  I caught her by surprise and laughed so hard after, wish I had video of it.

flowers in our front yard.  I saw a man stop, cross the street, and come smell them, it was awesome.  His wife was quite embarrassed and looking around to make sure no one saw - but I saw from our front window. :D 

Beautiful Friendship of Susie and Mary

Friends for 40 years is what the say.  Now at the ripe age of 67 and 71 they room together in a nursing home.  Their room is unique because they are considered to be special needs, one woman blind since birth and the other "retarded" as she described it.  Both woman had stuffed animals on their bed, all tied to together with a string, so they don't lose them.  The room had some dvds, music, and handwritten signs next to everything they own saying "don't touch" and "don't take" just in case the staff decided to take their things.  Mary, can no longer walk and says the things she misses the most are running her hands under water at the sink after using the restroom and just standing.

Before moving to the center, they lived together and Susie would take care of Mary, neither of them have been married or have had children.  Susie is the most altruistic and loving friend I have ever seen.  Ever.  I observed her in awe as she did everything that Mary (blind and confined to her bed) told her to - with pure gladness of heart and excitement.  "Susie, get these two woman a chair.  Susie, turn on that one cd.  Susie, go change our lunch orders."  Susie would get up with a smile and serve her friend Mary in whatever she needed.  They both told us how just last week Susie saved Mary's life by calling the ambulance when Mary stopped breathing.

Susie, Mary, and Abbey (awesome volunteer)

These two woman are in that room everyday together and have developed such a beautiful friendship.  They talk about how things should be and write notes around the room reminding staff to treat them with respect.  Mary took Susie along with her on speaking engagements to public schools when they were younger to encourage youth to treat the blind and people with special needs respectfully.  Susie showed us her photos from the 60s of Mary speaking to groups of children and kids walking around in blindfolds or trying to draw pictures with a pencil in their mouth. There was this dice game that a nurse brought in for us to play where you roll the die and everyone answers the question.  Susie would roll the die and with excitement ask her best friend Mary the answer, once answered, she would roll the die again and ask again.  After about 5 times of rolling the die, I asked Susie, "and what about you?"  It amazed me, she never once showed any desire to answer the question herself, but genuinely - and eagerly - wanted to hear the answers of her friend.

Today I was reading a little bit, procrastinating a bit to be honest, and these verses took on a whole new meaning after meeting Susie and Mary:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work;
If one falls down, his friend can help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I used to think of these verses more in a romantic relationship way, but now I see how friendships can be this way too.  Many of the other people we met or spoke with in the retirement/rehab facility were alone, and often times, the joy was sucked out of them.  But Mary and Susie were full of life, and they had more reasons than most of the other residents to be bitter.  Their friendship was so strong, that just by walking in the room and spending a few hours you could experience a small piece of it.  Susie amazed me with how much love she had for her friend Mary, and Mary amazed me with how much she cared for Susie and how important it was for her to get the message out that everyone is loved.  We spent a little while listening to (and singing) to the band Peter, Paul, and Mary.  Since they had visitors they figured we could get away with blasting music a bit more, hehe!  So ...we turned the music way up and Mary sang the song below with gusto, while laying in that bed, blind as can be, larger than normal, white as a ghost, and full of love - beautiful moments like those don't come by often.

Poem written by Mary and Susie and posted on their wall.  They were proud of it.  When I asked if I could take a picture they said to share it with everyone because it's important.

Mom continues to work out, after some slack time, we are getting back into gear.   Look at that Stance!

I drive a lot, and get bored, so sometimes I make up games like trying to drive through the rubber band with eyes squinted

Spring is here...basically summer actually.

GREEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Songs - one thing remains/love never fails

I'm in a season of the complete unknown.  It's a pretty scary place to be.  However, I am learning a great deal about faith, waiting, discernment, and love.  So in a season like this, songs like these speak to my heart.