It is a chill afternoon in the mountain town of Kodaikanal, India. I've come here to spend the week with the family of a friend from Fuller and have been enjoying the peaceful and relaxing atmosphere. The rainy afternoons allow me time to sit, be still, and think more deeply about all that has been happening.
I have now been in India for almost three weeks and am slowly adjusting to the changes. The tastes, smell, language, colors, transportation, even method of showering, are all quite different and keep my mind active.
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| This is where the girls do homework and early morning prayer |
India is a beautiful country, and each city has their own flavor. I've been spending time in the outskirts of Bangalore, which is located in South India. This city is known as the garden city as it is quite green. During my first two weeks I stayed at a children's home; sharing a room with a girl from Myanmar who has dedicated her year to taking care of three girls from various parts of India. We would spend afternoons talking and playing all together after school. I am quite humbled by their spiritual discipline schedule. Everyday they would wake up at 5 a.m. in order to start prayer and bible reading by 5:30 a.m. Each evening they would also spend an hour reading the bible and in prayer together. It felt like a special gift that I could be there to hear the prayers on their hearts and the ways that scriptures spoke to them. I struggled to wake up so early and would be the last one at the table for morning prayer. I'm curious to meet these girls in the future to see where God leads them.
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| A hindu temple that sits close to where we live. We would walk laps around the land behind it. |
There are many hindu temples here, which are colorful buildings with idols built all around up top. In the morning I could see men praying to idols as they walk past. It is my first time seeing people pray to idols in this way and I am learning more about the way that everyday life practices are intertwined with the hindu religion. Even the cows in the streets are considered to be Gods.
I have purchased my tickets and will be traveling to three different cities over the next two months to see places that do work in community development or to meet people who have dedicated their life to serving others. I can hardly believe this opportunity to see and discern what steps are next,
It is not without fear and difficulties though. Within a few hours of arriving in India I found myself crying in a chair at the airport. I had just argued with a lady over my next flight ticket which she said was non existent so I would have to pay for an extra flight. My feelings of justice kicked in as I explained, I'd already bought the ticket, this was not fair, and I did not understand why they could not issue me the ticket. She would not budge, "you have to pay," she demanded. "Ok" I said, "how much," She responded with a ridiculous amount of rupies, something thousand, and so I asked, "how much is that in dollars?" 76 dollars. My mouth dropped open and my eyes welled with tears. I didn't want to pay, I can't just throw around money now. To spare further embarrassment I told her I'd be back and stepped away to sit down and wipe my eyes. Why was I crying? I'm not a wimp, am I? 76 dollars is not the end of the world, suck it up. But I couldn't. I had arrived at 3 am, and had been to three different counters, waiting in line, only to find each time that my ticket was not there, maybe I was tired.
I sat there and observed the chaos around me as I pondered what to do. I wanted to go home and sleep. I saw a white girl chugging a yellow gatorade, looking all sickly. She had probably been vomiting or something earlier to be chugging the drink like it was going to bring her salvation. Fear seized me and I wondered why I had decided to continue on to India. I felt so alone. I felt weak and tired and ...alone... What am I doing in India? Tears continued to fall as I tried to process why in the world I was crying anyways.
The manager of the woman who I had been arguing with suddenly walked up to me quickly and explained he had found a way to get me a free ticket and rushed me over to counter to send my baggage. He told me to make sure I booked my ticket next time (I promise I had), and said this time he would help. What compassion. I remembered praying as I entered the airport that God would provide people to help me through, I didn't realize I would need this much help, but I felt cared for in that moment. Before I knew it I was on the flight to Bangalore, exhausted, alone, and a bit scared. I guess I"m staying in India, not going home, I signed up for this. Not giving a care what anybody thought, I curled up against the window and fell asleep for the entire 3 hour flight over.. ,
One thing about being away from everything and everyone that you know is that it makes you experience all sorts of emotions as you truly examine your life and identity. It makes you take a step back and see life from a new perspective. It makes me realize just how much grace I need in everyday life. Taking a step like this into the unknown made me realize, there really is no turning back, I've made my choice and I am here. I have to learn how to be vulnerable and accept help from strangers (with discernment) and to embrace the changes in friendships and relationships over time. It has made me grateful for what has been, curious about what will be, yet very attentive to the present moments as they quickly pass me by. Presently, I am happy to spend this next week in a peaceful and cozy place before entering more unknowns in India. I now think that I am in India for a reason, and it will take some time to fully understand why. Hope all is well on your end. I think of friends and family often.
Alison
p.s. i think another day I"ll add pictures/commentary from my trip through Europe. I completely missed a post on that journey.
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| There are many light outages so we would always use candles, the girls put together this collage themselves |
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| Bindu on top of their building |
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| Indian Sari :) So fun! |
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| Again, light outage, and they wanted to document it |
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| Visited this work, Chai316, a center by a College that provides a space for community and witness. |
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| My lovely host for the first two weeks. Has lived in India for over 20 years. 6:30 am walks with her around this field. |
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| I shared a room with Gracie who came from Myanmar to study in India and has dedicated this year to living at the girl's home. |
