Do you really trust?

Tonight is a chill night of reflection.  I haven't had one in quite some time - it's always been go, go, go, or just....crawl into bed and fall asleep.

There is this long list of things to be done when I return to California.  Life is moving quickly and apparently my "serendipitous" personality needs more structure.  So here goes some reflecting, structure to follow.

1.  Do you really trust God?

Journal Entry: July 3rd 2012
"Linda (girls home director) said today that being on the mission field is a test about what you believe.  "Do you really trust God?  You can either choose to believe, or to not believe."  I am choosing to believe.  To hold onto hope - to have faith that God is who he says he is.  That he is all knowing - omnipresent and watching over me and everyone.  I believe that God has a plan - that God has power.  That God listens and chooses to listen when he wants.  I believe that God knows my heart.  I believe that God can work through me.  I believe."

That entry was written while in Bolivia, my heart was distraught after witnessing a ministry partnership fall apart.  Earlier that day we had interviewed Linda, who had served as a girls home director for many years (more than 10).  She was so genuine and honest, she didn't sugar coat the work she was involved in; and it was inspiring.  Today that question, "Do you really trust God," cuts deep as bigger decisions are made and worries about the future begin to creep in.  It's a question that humbles me and requires an honest answer.  The answer?  Why yes of course, yes I do trust God.  ok Alison...then do not worry and lift it up in prayer.

2. God has His ways.

Exodus 23:29-30
But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.  Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.

Little by little.  God said little by little.  So in whatever way that God is working; it could be drastic and it could be little by little - but there is a reasoning behind the plans that God orchestrates.  God is active and working.  Always - in the practical and seemingly impractical.

3.  Recognize the season you're in (said Bill Hybels)

I have ten more weeks of classes this next quarter.  That's the next season.  This is the time for growth and development.  This is the time to trust and obey.  This is the time to pray and wait.  This is a time to invest in friendships and a church community.  It is a time to work hard and to take joy in it all.

4.  God is with me

Though these feet often times feel like they are aimlessly wandering, God has always been there, every step of the way.

Psalms 27:13-14
I am confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

James 4:8-10
Come near to God and he will come near to you.  Wash your hands, you sinner, and purify your hearts, you double minded.  Grieve, mourn, and wail.  Change your laughter into mourning and your joy to gloom.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

James 4:13-15
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "if it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

So since I don't know the future - why plan it?  No structure needed.

Just kidding! I've got a general idea of the next best steps.
And...time for bed :) sleep music.

People at Fuller

I really like Fuller Theological Seminary.

Sure the classes are good and I am learning a lot through all the readings and lectures but what I really like about Fuller is the people.

They come from all over the country and all over the world to study here - they come with different life experiences and stories - and they all come with a desire to learn more about God and to serve him well with their lives.  The more people I meet and get to know, the more I am amazed by the opportunity to live in such a place.

Let me give you an idea of the coolness of this community.

So - I'm studying right? (context) - it's a Saturday morning, and I've been studying for quite some time.  Reading articles and statistics about Refugees in Syria.  I've got this big research paper looming over me and the worst part of it all is that I fear my passion for this subject is waning, it just makes the process so much more painful.  Am I heartless?  Why don't I seem to care enough about the Refugees suffering in Syria, this is real stuff Alison (self talk).  Coffee Break.

My good friend Berkeley works at the coffee shop right down the street and its always nice to visit Berkeley.  Saturday is off to a good start, procrastination choice number 1.

Picture taken before Convo
Just thought it looked cool

Inside the coffee shop I spot a friend (photo left).  I've been saying hi to the past few weeks.  This "friend" of mine, I don't really know well.  All I know is that he's from another country because he has an accent.  "What are you working on?" he asks me, "ohh, just a paper on globalization and Refugees," I respond half heartedly.  "ohhh, that's a good topic.  I would know that's a good topic," he responds.
"Oh is it?  How would you know?"
His response,"Do you know I was a refugee?"
.....and my mind begins to process ....
"A refugee, as in, the kind I am reading about, did you live in a camp?"  I ask ....more enthusiastically than before
"Refugee for 6 years, yes I did."
.....and my topic just became real.
Bill went onto explain that as a young boy he had to flee his country of Liberia because of war and reside in a neighboring country.  He was raised in a different government system with a different education than his own and food rations provided by the United Nations.

And that's one reason why I think Fuller is pretty cool.  Finished that paper today.

Two more large papers to complete by Friday and then it is time to rest.

 

A quick update.  This little light of mine flickers on.  God is good.  Always good.

 

I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being." Ephesians 3:16

 

Christmas in California - passing through City Hall with two German exchange students last night



From the top of the library

Sun shining on my paper, sweet.  Love Does.