5 points for prayer and discernment

At Willow Creek - the church I attend - we are beginning our third week of Celebration of Hope.  Yesterday there was a panel of speakers, the first was Gary Haugen, President of International Justice Mission. ("International Justice Mission is a human rights agency that brings rescue to victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression.") IJM LInk He spoke on the power of prayer.  Towards the end of his speech he gave 5 points to follow - here they are:

1.  Draw close to those who are hurting and open up your heart to love
2.  Do what loves tells you to do
3.  Cry out to God and ask for help
4.  Don't give up
5.  Worship and give thanks

REPEAT

While I was paying attention to what he was saying, my mind was also trying to comprehend the realities that he deals with and has seen daily.  Like most things - I was having a difficult time understanding just HOW MUCH injustice workers at IJM encounter and the horrifying things they must see.  It is so easy to become overwhelmed by all this bad stuff going on, but all it takes are small steps of BIG faith.

this song is cool.....

ANYWAYS, The point of this blog was really just share those points that I wrote on a small piece of paper.  :)

The month of May, which begins in 2 days is the month of PURGE.  I have it written down that way in my calender.  I want to live a simple life, so that I can save for school, or wherever God might lead me.  In other words - I am moving - I have decided.  I do not know where, but it will happen, and it will happen soon.  So the month of May will include trashing, donating, and selling a few of my things.  Should be interesting.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

Night driving with music = bliss

Booth about Bolivia at Willow !! ;)

This machine is AMAZING!!!  it cuts paper - they also have a folding machine.   It makes sense that a church of a couple thousand would have a machine like this.  I felt so cool using it!

Some of the proceeds that Willow raises will go towards IJM work in Bolivia!!! How crazy - and sobering.

This Girl - Lisie - will be home again for a day on Friday before leaving for Africa! I am SO excited!

Spring = rain (if it looks trippy to you, that is because the picture is flipped with the reflection up top)

spring = sandals.  I can not tell you how excited I was when this photo was taken.  I wore them everyday in Bolivia and got me so excited to see where they'll take me now!

Spring = sun!

I've put this picture before.  But it touches my heart.  Really.  Have it as my phone background and makes me smile so much.  This is Ariel and his favorite dog, "gaucho."

And to end this - Bri Page is not my friend for a season - she is a lifelong friend.  I am so happy to have her in my life!  :D

My butterfly hit a wall

You ever have those sobering moments where you take a look at your finances and realize that your next few weeks or months are going to be more difficult then you thought? 

yea - that just happened.

I just got off the phone with some people, paying off medical stuff, giving out my credit card number, and I think I almost felt a tear stroll down my cheek as she repeated the amount and told me how much would be placed on it.

My dad is obsessed with Dave Ramsey.  Dave Ramsey is this financial guru who talks about how to pay off your debt, save your money, and live a financially stable and happy life with the hypothetical end goal of giving away so much more because of your new happy and stable position!  I can't tell you how often I have heard him speaking, I know his voice, and I could recite to you his point of view on many financial issues.

Anyways - I tend to act like a free butterfly sometimes, with these huge lofty ideas and goals, and this idea that if you just do it, everything will work out alright.  Sadly, the butterfly life span is very short.  After reviewing (mentally) my current financial situation, and the financial demands that will begin this fall with graduate school - my butterfly almost died.

I have to make hard decisions, I have to be really self controlled, I will even have to go into those red lines (debt).   If I want to grow up - move out - get a car - go to school - all while working - than these wings of mine need to be clipped.  You get what I mean?  It means no more thinking "la de dah" I can volunteer wherever I want - instead it's "oh man", I might need to hold two jobs this summer.  It means no more "la de dah" I can justify my spending to hang out with friends because friends are important -instead it's - "oh man", I can sit there while my friends enjoy food and if it's too far away I have to go play outside by myself instead.  It'll be alright - while I might have to place these boundaries for a time, I know who I am, and I know that this isn't forever.

So basically this entry is to just get out all of those frustrations from a few moments ago with that stupid plastic card in my hand while I sat on my completely unorganized floor and to mentally process the last hour I spent driving home, refilling the gas tank (with ridiculous prices), while thinking the entire time about how in the world I am going to be able to move out and buy a car and pay for insurance and go to the dentist without insurance...in moments like those I really couldn't believe the la la land I live in.

Basically - my butterfly ran into a glass window this morning, and it's sliding down slowly.  I"ll fly again.  Just takes some time to figure it all out.  #Reallife.  That's how it be living in the U.S.of A.  :) 

On a positive note - Spring is here and it is a beautiful thing!!

Beautiful Eulogy - what makes your heart flip?

This is a great group with great lyrics - been on repeat today


I just got off a skype call with a friend from Bolivia - it was my first time speaking with her since I'd left.  It was amazing how seeing her face filled my heart with so much happiness and joy - felt like I could do tons of flips and jump off the walls.  Lately, I've been paying extra special attention to the things that make my heart do flips.  Seeing Clara tonight was one of them.  Other things in no particular order.

-Watching the night sky pass by
-Cranking up music that I believe in
-Juggling a soccer ball in spring weather (the one time I did it)
-Rain and car lights
-Chocolate chips because our whole house is deprived of ALL chocolate
-Talking to Grandpa on the phone
-Driving with the window down

There's more, but the thought just crossed my mind that this might bore people.  The point is - those small things that make your heart flip with excitement, are things to be thankful for, and the list is endless.  Because even in the midst of hard times, bad news, or seemingly hopeless situations - those small things are still there.

Hearing about today's bombs in Boston broke my heart - I was shocked.  I was horrified.  And I was overcome with anger all over again about the injustices that are in our world.  Why?  Why?  Why?  and How can I do something?  How can I help?  Where is God?  God's present, and he's saying when you point that finger at me - do you see those three pointing back at you - I"m right there with you.  Created for a purpose.  Galations 2:20

My purpose is to live a hippy life minus the sex, drugs, and alcohol.  It's all about love yo.  Love no matter what, Love no matter who, and Love no matter how much it hurts.

The other night I couldn't sleep so I youtubed the bible series scenes on my phone and watched a couple of clips - the one that struck me the most was the one with Peter walking on the water towards Jesus.  At the end Jesus says - "Peter, you of little faith, why did you doubt, you need to be strong?"
That would hurt so much to hear Jesus say, "Alison, why did you doubt me?"  However, I'm pretty sure that is something he would say to me.  He would say, Alison, where was your faith when you worried, when you pondered, when you chose another option?  I don't want to be at that place.  The peace that passes understanding that God gives, can only come from trusting in God - his promises - and in understanding who he is - all knowing, all powerful, life-giving, loving, and the list goes on.  So - I take these small little heart flip moments as listed above as a reminder of God's goodness and of the beautiful life he gives.

My cheeks get wet every now and then. Even when I give my best, I know I fall short.
I get scared when the balls in my court. Focussed on, my
performance, wretched and poor. It makes the message more
real when I preach it. I'm not there yet so I'm reaching,
reaching for a goal, to stand before my King and be speechless.
Then, never again, will I question if his grace is
sufficient to cover my sin. Cause death is gone, and all
the effects of, evil and wrong will be conquered when His
kingdom comes. So this is my hope and my prayer. The air
that I'll breath in eternity with lungs that never fail
me. If it pleases my Lord, and only by Your grace, use my
life till it's poured out for Your sake. Until then I'll
remain where You have me, with joy when I feel unhappy. And
a peace that surpasses all my understanding, my life is in
the hands of Your love everlasting.
- Beautiful Eulogy -

Lord, I need you song - Amen to that!

Lord I need you, oh I need you.
Every hour I need you
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you.

So teach my song to rise to you
when temptation comes my way.
When I cannot stand I'll fall on you
Jesus you're my hope and stay.

Beautiful prayer and beautiful song so I had to share it.

These past few weeks have been ... cool...It might not look like much is going on if you were to follow me around, but there is a lot going on behind the scenes, and I am in awe.

Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Alison

Gym time.  I do realize this is bad form - but we can blame my mom for snapping the photo at the wrong time, before I got into my excellent push up form...just saying.

Oh! My knee - what was wrong with it?  Damaged the bone some by bruising it.  Fell pretty hard I suppose.  Still in knee rehab :)

We voted at the library, and my mom was drawn to this book.  "I did it His (God's) way."

The weather...is improving...so we took a stroll.  

This is the moon.  Late at night, when I get home from work, I get to see the cool night sky - and that night it was super cool. Tried to capture it on the phone.  Not the same.

God brought Bri and I together for a season, and it's awesome!   I am excited about these next two months before she begins a new season.

Easter work out with mom because the gym was closed: New York city Ballet.  It was intense. 

You go mom! Reach for the sky!

"Alison, what's that on your cheek?"  BLOOD.  I let Dewey, Bri's dog, lick my pop can for a while when I was sitting alone, super excited to have a companion and he was going to town!...so I asked a friend to take a picture when he came over..and that's when he noticed the blood on my cheek.  Apparently the Mtn Dew can opening is sharp, and cut his tongue.  Dewey is ok, and I am sorry.  I felt horrible, was basically traumatized, but now this photo makes me laugh.  Also - I let the dog lick my face.  God has changed me.  

7 virtues for moral excellence, according to 17 year old me

In 11th grade we were asked to write a paper on Benjamin Franklin's desire to attain moral perfection. Here is the list of virtues that I felt I lacked and wrote within the paper - complete with my own 11th grade definition, which I explained, applied to my personal weaknesses.

1. Wisdom

To have good judgement in everything you do.  To understand the people and events that occur around you.

2.  Orderliness

To have everything put in its place.  Have a sense of order by scheduling events accordingly.  Organization. (Still trying to master this one)

3.  Self - Discipline

Finish tasks without reward.  Accomplish tasks in a timely manner.

4.  Confidence

Do not doubt your capabilities.  Complete tasks with assurance.

5.  Acceptance

Accept things or occurrences for what they are.  Do not focus on what has been done (the past) but instead, acknowledge it, and move on.

6.  Perseverance

Complete tasks with 100 percent effort.  Determination leads to success.  Never give up.

7.  Generosity

Give to others with an open heart.  Spend time with those who are lonely.

The essay was complete with a daily schedule outlining how I would attain these virtues over the next year.  Did it work?  No clue.  I am still working on most of these, if not all, to be honest, so it was interesting to have that little flash back.  I would say that the difference from the 17 year old Alison, and the 25 year old one - is that now I see how much God is needed to attain these virtues.  Tons!  100 percent.

What would be the virtues I would outline today?  That's something I might ponder before going to bed tonight.  I've got to go work on that orderliness part right now and finish folding laundry.....I just wanted to write about this paper before I toss it forever, I almost made my mom cry with all the writings and things I am tossing from my child hood.  It's gotta go sometime! Oh, and she was crying with joy - because my mom is super clean - I need major effort to make orderliness happen, that is just a gene I missed and I've learned to accept, so with perseverance I keep on cleaning and give away my things with generosity, because wisdom tells me that orderliness is necessary and I have the confidence that I will attain it!  (i just wanted to try and use all the virtues in a sentence)

Hope you are all having a great week wherever you may be, whoever you may be.  :)

God knows best.

Unforgettable Easter - unforgettable year - unforgettable how God works.

God knows best.



Yet while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Spring is here!  I can't wait to spend more time outside!!!! (there should be about twenty more exclamation points behind it, because I am really excited)

Alison