A few days ago I was hanging out with some friends as we all went around and shared our passions. I watched as each person shared - the words speaking life into their eyes and their body posture becoming more assured as they spoke about the unique way that God created them to be. I love asking people about their passions because it is a tangible way to see hope. These passions, they drive us - they sustain us and move us forward into the difficult places. In Hebrews 11:1 it says "now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Isn't it crazy when we ponder how the passions that we have oftentimes breed dreams. The type of dreams that build hope as we seek to see what we do not see come to life. What are you passionate about? Where do you place your hope?
Hope is a necessary thing for people living in the margins - people that for various reasons do not have access to all of life necessities or are caught in unrelenting situations that seem impossible. There past few weeks I get to hear where some refugees place their hope - it's in the new place, the new home, plans to dangerously cross country border by boat or on foot - in a future where their kids can receive education and healthcare. Yet, what happens when this hope is realized and they begin to see that it is not all that we need? While very important and necessary, they do not end all pain, suffering and loss - there must be hope in something more - a living hope. I know this hope is needed because, I have seen life without it while living in a suburb, and have visited places where the wealthy can have nearly everything, yet it is never enough. These past few weeks I have been learning more about the importance of sharing the living hope of God while actively loving others with time, resources, and open space. I am learning more about a God that follows through with His word and really does love the brokenhearted in their midst. A God that brings dreams and people to their knees (ask me about that when I see you again) and especially, almost always, joy in the little things.
This afternoon I was glitterfied. (I made up that word, in case you're wondering) I spent some time with kids and we used glitter and glue to make art. One thing I like about adulthood is that no one can tell you "no! it is too messy," because YOU"RE in charge. So what is the first thing I went for in the cabinet? Especially when their little eyes lit up with mine...THE GLITTER. I suppose in hindsight I understand why some "adults" would prefer to keep the glitter tucked away; kids really do find genius ways to use the glitter and in their creativity can spread the sparkle to anywhere the eye can see. My feet were covered in glitter, as were their faces and legs and arms. So - attempting to avoid more mess - we put the glitter away and got out the paint. To be fair, I didn't take the paint out, they took it out and I chose to look the other way. ;) When they started painting mustache's on their faces, there wasn't much I could say (literally because I don't speak their language). I let them continue in their escapades and would lift the little ones up to the mirror so they could see their silly faces - they smiled, laughed and giggled as they would puff out their chests and pretend to be grown up. Messy? oh yes. Worth it? oh yes. The joy these activities bring is refreshing.
To give a little perspective on refugee children in Turkey, these kids are stuck inside most days all day. They don't have school, and they don't have healthcare. Today I noticed the sweet little 9 year old smiling, and twirling like a princess with teeth that were white and grey at the bottom - dirty no less from no dentist check ups for quite some time. This little princess is 1 of 7 kids. Like many children refugees, the oldest three girls in their family work in factories already at the ages of 13,14, and 15 - because they have to - because of rent. It's just the way things are for now. I am learning Arabic from their mother, she is very patient with me as I quickly forget the most recent phrases we already repeated 10 times. Today the kids quizzed me and I got a 50%.
To date, many new memories and stories fill my mind from the time thus far in Turkey. I would be lying if I said it has all been wonderful. It can be difficult at times to see the realities of this world and I also have had deep sadness wash over me from leaving the place I loved in California. Uncertainty can be my best friend and worst enemy as I begin to ponder where my new community will be and what next steps I will take. I miss the friends from Chicago and California that would sing the crazy tunes of life with me - and even now I wish these new friends could come with me in my suitcase. Yet - gratitude fills my heart. I continue to learn more about what it means to be fully present and available to God's work in the world by beginning right where you are. I will end this entry with a quote from an email I received this evening about discernment.
"What I learned from testing a call in Latin America is that my broader vocation is simply to enjoy God’s presence, do God’s will, and be grateful wherever I am. The question of where to live and what to do is really insignificant compared to the question of how to keep the eyes of my heart focused on the Lord. I can be teaching at Yale, working in the bakery at the Genesee Abbey, walking with poor children in Peru, or writing a book, and still feel totally useless. Or I can do these same things and know that I am fulfilling my call. There is no such thing as the right place or the right job. I can be miserable or joyful, restless or at peace, in all situations. It is a simple truth that came to me in a time when I had to decide about my future. Living in Lima or not for five, ten, or twenty years was no great decision. Turning to the Lord fully, unconditionally, and without fear is. He reminds me that I have no lasting dwelling on this earth, that I am a traveler on the way to a sacred place where God holds me in the palm of his hand. This deeper awareness sets me free to be a pilgrim, to pray without ceasing, and to be grateful." - Henri Nouwen
Amen to that. From what I am seeing here - there is no better way, no bigger adventure, then living life with a God who loves the world times a trillion million billion stars shining bright at night. May God grant us the wisdom to fathom it.
(P.s. it's late - so I am going to sleep - but I have pictures to share - so the next one will be photos)
