Monday, October 31, 2016

Welcome to Limbo Land

It's time for an update.  Do you know how I know it's time for an update?  I think the two baskets of clean laundry sitting in the middle of my room that are waiting to be folded told me it's time.  Their presence has suddenly reminded me that of the 20 "to do" items floating around in my head...updating this blog is currently the most important one.  I also conveniently have used this blog as a procrastinate escape in the past.

With that being said, I didn't quite think through what this particular post could be about aside from an update on the past three months back in the United States.  Seems relevant.  This past August I moved home after spending 7 months in the Middle East.  Three months later and I am currently in limbo land.  Limbo land is my favorite way to describe the season of uncertainty that has continuously been a life theme of mine.  I truly dislike limbo land, but usually it's my fault.  I tend to be drawn to ambiguity and don't really like to feel tied down, on top of that my passions have kind of guided me in the strangest ways.

YET limbo land has taken on a new character.  It used to be a time of frustration while I painstakingly wait for clues about the future.  Now it is a time of relaxation.  It's a new understanding that this is a phase and that I should enjoy it for all it is worth. Even now as I am typing this, I"m beginning to think that limbo land feels a bit selfish, but I promise it is not that.  Rather, it has meant rekindling and strengthening old friendships even if it means a trip to visit friends in California or a random camping trip to Minnesota at the end of October with Bri (COLD).

It's also a whole lot of reading.  I currently have, let me count, 8 books within my immediate vicinity - books that I am reading all at the same time.  Don't ask me how this is possible.  The only way I can explain it is that I get bored easily with one book so I will switch to another after a few chapters.  Or - perhaps, I have spent a few hours reading one book, and decide later on that same day that I would rather read a book about love, "well perfect, self, let me switch books to 'love without limits'" or whatever other book I have on that topic.  It's almost like I have been living through all these stories every day as a I read.  Fun thought no?  It's a spoiled thing to do when I know that I can't bring all these books with me next time I cross the ocean.

Yes, Life has been THAT interesting.  Oh wait, it gets better, because there is also a pair of new and clean running shoes on my floor.  Most of the day is also spent THINKING about running.  Now, I do hope to change the thinking to action soon.  Let it be known that I ran 3 miles yesterday, thought about running 3 today - but showered instead, which means.... that I will by default run 3 more tomorrow since I thought about it all day today.

I've picked up running again because my boyfriend wants me to run a half marathon with him.  In case you read that sentence quickly, or actually forgot to read it.  I just want to point out a keyword.  "Boyfriend."  Michael and I met on a hiking trip in the Middle East and quickly became friends.  I don't quite know how to write out the whole story just yet, and maybe that's for another time, but the big news is basically that God has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity to date this amazing guy named Michael.  So limbo land has also meant spending quality time getting to know him over skype. While long distance is not ideal, the positive of starting a relationship this way is that it makes us talk, a lot.  Every day I am learning something new about Michael and more grateful for our relationship.  He is a passionate and caring man with a lot of energy, and already adds excitement to my life while living thousands of miles away. This will be an adventure, I have no doubt about that.  He is the only person that has told me that he likes hanging out with me because I slow him down.  Usually, people tell me the opposite.  Getting to know Michael has enlarged my heart and left me in awe at the ways that God works to bring people together for His good.  This part of the story is barely unfolding and I can hardly wait to see where it leads.  Michael reminds me to enjoy each stage of our relationship as it comes, even this time apart, accepting it as a gift from God to be cherished.  I really like him.

While I dislike limbo land, it has also given me the time to reflect on and replenish the deep areas in my heart that brought me out to international work in the first place.  I have also been making some new friends that have similar passions and held conversations with cups of coffees in comfy cafes.  Get this, I worked at a bookstore for a week before getting a phone call to let me know that limbo land is finally coming to a close.  It seems I will be heading back to the Middle East very soon, as I wait for a response, I am aware that within a week or two I could be on a plane once more.  My new role will include the communications for an NGO on the front lines of their relief response to the war there. I am thrilled to say the least, especially since it will bring me closer to Michael, that is an added bonus.  Yet, as always, a bit sad to have to say goodbye to friends and family again.

I am grateful for these past three months and the time that it has been.  Also, so very happy to close this post with a clean floor.  My mother came in about two paragraphs ago and helped me fold the clean laundry - so it seems this night is ending well accomplished.  Thank you for reading - updating again soon.  It seems this blog is a sweet way to document the seasons of life over the years from Bolivia, through Fuller in California, to Turkey, India, the Middle East and back - I am amazed at the ways that God works.  All that joy, all that pain -  OH and all that uncertainty of limbo land - wouldn't have it any other way.

Alison

P.S. Here is a song that Michael shared with me while I was going through a hard time earlier - hope you find it encouraging in whatever circumstance you find yourself