Blogging is hard.  I have a lot of respect for bloggers - and people who write books.  It's a scary thing to put your thoughts out there all exposed - it's also a privilege.  I often get tied up in what to write.  I might start a paragraph or start to think about a certain topic, but than I'll back track.  I back track because I want what I write to mean something, to have a reason for being there, not just cus.

Today can be my jus cus day - I'll probably end up having more, but here's a try.  Here are my unfiltered thoughts

I'm currently listening to Sons and Daughters - this song to be exact  

Today on the train I sat next to a stranger, I always sit next to a stranger actually.  At the beginning of my metra train rides - I would talk to the strangers and introduce myself, I thought that's what you're supposed to do so that it's not awkward sitting so close to a stranger and for so long (1 hour).  Just a little background.  I ride the metra everyday to work, it's an hour train ride and than walk to the cta and ride to work for about 20 mins.  Altogether the commute takes two hours one way.  Anyways, today this stranger I sat by was NOT happy.  She flumped down next to me, no I don't think flumps a word, and sat there so ...angry looking.  I was studying for the GRE with notecards balancing on my leg, some on top and than some underneath my leg, and some in my hand.  She was taking her coat of with some tude, and knocked my notecards on the floor!!!  I was a little perturbed, I will admit, because she didn't even acknowledge that she did it.  She ignored it and so I had to bend to the floor and in my backpack and on the seat to pick them up.  I was wondering if she knew that it was her that made this mess or if she thought it was me because she seemed more annoyed by this.  Anyways, so I was contemplating whether or not I should show some contempt and pick up the notecards with tude, but that really wouldn't do anything except make for awkward ride.

So we rode together for an hour in silence.  She read a book and than slept some..and spaced some.  I know, creepy, I pay attention to whats going on a little bit too much, all while studying - hopefully something stuck in my membrane....

So we rode together for an hour in silence.  Than as she was getting ready to leave and stood up her black umbrella, medium sized, fell and hit my foot pretty hard.  This time I wasn't perturbed but wondered what was going to happen next - would she bend down or would I pick it up?  Translate - would I be a jerk and make her pay for dropping it on my foot and pick it up herself or would I pick it up.  I picked it up and as I handed it to her we made eye contact, she smiled a pretty smile, a genuine smile and said thank you, and I smiled and nodded my head and than she left.  I don't really know the point of sharing this story - but it is what came to mind first.  I think I was wondering what would have happened had I not picked it up and also if she just needed some quite time and solice on that train.  People on the train don't seem happy.

In other ramblings - my brother is listening to loud music in the other room.  I wish I was closer to him.  I think we would get along really well.  I don't know how I can connect with so many people but have a hard time connecting with my own brother.

Time for me to get back to studying.  This was fun.  Thanks for reading if you go this far.  And also, if you can add some profound reasoning to my story - that'd be cool with me because as of right now, it's just an hour in the day.

Alison Garza

Study Night - doing it right

Tonight is study night.  Tonight is the "Alison you must be productive and study night,"  And I will go to many different lengths to procrastinate - this is one of them.

Thursday was the vision field trip with kids from Orozco Academy.  CPS (Chicago Public Schools) does annual hearing and vision screenings and the kids who failed the vision screening or have broken glasses get the opportunity to visit a free glasses clinic that gives the kids eye exams and free glasses.  It is an awesome program.  We brought 29 kids and went from room to room with them as they got various parts of the screenings.  Jessica (my awesome co worker) took some candid photos BUT because of laws about posting photos of kids that aren't yours on the internet - I am unable to share them.  LAME.

Tiredness has also been a theme of the week.  My boss told me there's good tired and bad tired but I"ll be tired for the rest of my life.  I truly hope this is not true.  However, I'm beginning to slightly...somewhat..possibly..understand what grown ups were talking about when they'd refuse to do something fun because of being tired and reply with "I'm old."  Goodness.  Eclessiastes 12 is what just came to mind.

Ok, as much as I would love to continue with some ramblings - time is passing and seriously, I need to study and do well on the GRE.  WOOOOo!!!!!!!!

(I know those exclamation points make it look like I am excited, but looks can be deceiving - to be truthful, those are anti exclamation points and that woo should be ulta de capped)  :D

Alison

Mini Update: keepin' it realz

These upcoming weeks are going to fly by! There is so much to get done at home and at work and so many people to see.  I should be overwhelmed, but instead I am super excited, I want to enjoy every moment of it; I hope it goes slooooowlllly.  

On May 23rd I will retake the GRE, and studying is a MUST.  I've taken it twice (not proud) and done ok on the exam.  While many schools say the score isn't that important on their websites - I've talked to enough admission advisers to know that the score matters and does determine acceptances and scholarships.  I've also seen my dedicated co worker study hard core for the GRE and do well - she's my inspiration (*cough* Jessica *cough*)

In other news - my room is a mess.  So it is time to clean.  My mom told me yesterday, "Alison, you are not aloud to have a messy AND dirty room, this is completely unacceptable."  The messy stands for the clothes, papers, books, and random things laying around; the dirty stand for the dried, footprint shaped dirt marks that were lying on my floor.  I had forgotten that my shoes had dried up dirt on them before placing them on my feet and walking around the room.  Yes, I looked back and was concerned - but at the time I was running late for work so I made a mental note to clean it later, took off my shoes, and put them back on by the door before leaving for work.  Time passed quickly and a few days went by before I was able to vacuum it.  Really not a necessary story to share - but little details like these make living at home fun.  :) For me and my parents.

Before I get to cleaning:  Here's a song to listen to:

Deeper - Charlie Hall

PEACE

Alison Garza

Please Be My Strength

The song "Please be my strength" by Gungor has been playing in my head these past few days. Whenever fear begins to set in or thoughts of defeat try to creep their way in - this song serves as a reminder that I am not alone, and that God is there to be my strength. I don't have to worry or let the "what ifs" control my thoughts and actions - instead I am learning to place all trust in God.

Please Be My Strength - By Gungor LISTEN!

I also went running during a retreat in New Buffalo. I recorded a video of Lake Michigan and this website has an option to upload video. So here goes a trial. :)



WOO! MONDAY!
Alison Garza


a note for anyone that wants to upload a video - it takes quite some time to upload! :) Let me know if if does/doesn't work. AND sorry for running with the camera phone. I got excited