When being blind hurts the God you love - his grace is greater still

I'm updating my blog because of a strange coincidence.  I'm probably too nerdely excited about it as well.

I stalked a Professor of a class I am going to audit.  And the reason I am going to audit it, is because she is so cool!  And..this is the coincidence.  Her blog...LOOKS JUST LIKE MY BLOG.  Same mountain/rainy design..same blogger.com.  She must be cool.  But really, read this phrase she wrote in a post:

Who we are is what we live on the inside 24 hours a day 7 days a week.  Growing on the inside is learning to have a life. 

Wows.  I'll add - it's also how we choose to live out that person that is growing on the inside through actions, words, and love. 

Needless to say, I'm getting pretty pumped about school starting soon.

Today I was reading Mathew and was struck, like a brick to the head, by just how wrong we can be in our thinking.  There's a section called "The Seven Woes" in which Jesus uses all types of mean language to the religious leaders of the day. (Mathew 23)  He was so disgusted by it all.  How disgusted must he be by the lives we lead at times?  He called them blind too.  I've been "blind" before.  Not living like I should, saying one thing but doing another.  Thought I was following God, turns out I was not.  Thought I had faith, turns out I doubted.  However, even for people like me, there is hope.  At the end of his harsh words.  Jesus states that they will not see him again until they say "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord." 

Peter, one of the 12 disciples (followers of Jesus), was "blind" for a time as well.  There's this story where Peter proudly states his undying love for Jesus right before Jesus is to be captured and killed.  Instead of receiving approval or a loving hug full of gratitude, Peter is told - by Jesus- that Peter will deny Jesus three times before the next morning.  For Peter, such a thing sounded impossible; he loved Jesus, he would give up his life for Jesus - he had already given up everything to follow Jesus.  How could he do such a horrendous, unthinkable, evil thing?  Deny someone you love?

But, as it would happen.  When Jesus was captured, and things looked bleak, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus, it even said that he swore on it (SINNA) - three times!  Upon realizing what he had done, he went outside and wept bitterly.  How painful.  To hurt someone you love.  Yet God still used him.  Peter didn't lose his faith nor was it held against him.  Perhaps that's because Jesus understood just how broken we are in this human race, and he knew that a moment like this could transform Peter, and that Peter would one day be a solid ROCK that would build the Church.

Lets digress ok?  Because this is how my thought process went as I read the story, and for the first time, I identified with Peter as a sinner and understood a little of this pain that he felt.  Peter was a disciple hot shot.  Not a hot shot in the secular world by any means.  The way I understand it, he hung out with this mysterious man and lived no where yet everywhere. Peter had seen Jesus do miracles, multiply food, heal people, raise a man from the dead, calm stories and many more amazing jaw dropping things.  MORE than that, he had the privilege of spending night and day by his side and witnessed the spotless life of Jesus, full in kindness, compassion, righteous anger and self control.  Peter didn't read it, he LIVED it.  Peter felt love like never before from this Jesus.  Peter was chosen and special and most of all loved by the son of God himself.  Yet, in an instant, when troubles came his way, and Jesus was captured, he was blinded and all hope was lost.  Doubt took over, and the faith to believe that Jesus could overcome was no where to be found.  EVEN AFTER walking on the water and being told of his little faith (you'd think you'd learn after being told once right!?).  EVEN AFTER confessing his undying love for Jesus.  He still caved. 

Peter is just like us.  Through his weakness, he sinned.  Yet, God forgave him and used him still.  God used him in a mighty way.  The story doesn't end in depression or with Peter wallowing in sin.  Peter did mourn, he had remorse, but then, he was given a new hope and his faith was restored.  He never denied Christ again and understood firsthand that God's love covers all.

He knows our hearts and his grace is greater still.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:  While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8

So - this turned into a pretty long entry.  Good.  Maybe I"ll get some sleep tonight.

QUE SLEEP MUSIC...
Rest your head on hallelujahs



P.S. sleep music means it is slow, but oh so good.  Goodnight.