Blogging is hard.  I have a lot of respect for bloggers - and people who write books.  It's a scary thing to put your thoughts out there all exposed - it's also a privilege.  I often get tied up in what to write.  I might start a paragraph or start to think about a certain topic, but than I'll back track.  I back track because I want what I write to mean something, to have a reason for being there, not just cus.

Today can be my jus cus day - I'll probably end up having more, but here's a try.  Here are my unfiltered thoughts

I'm currently listening to Sons and Daughters - this song to be exact  

Today on the train I sat next to a stranger, I always sit next to a stranger actually.  At the beginning of my metra train rides - I would talk to the strangers and introduce myself, I thought that's what you're supposed to do so that it's not awkward sitting so close to a stranger and for so long (1 hour).  Just a little background.  I ride the metra everyday to work, it's an hour train ride and than walk to the cta and ride to work for about 20 mins.  Altogether the commute takes two hours one way.  Anyways, today this stranger I sat by was NOT happy.  She flumped down next to me, no I don't think flumps a word, and sat there so ...angry looking.  I was studying for the GRE with notecards balancing on my leg, some on top and than some underneath my leg, and some in my hand.  She was taking her coat of with some tude, and knocked my notecards on the floor!!!  I was a little perturbed, I will admit, because she didn't even acknowledge that she did it.  She ignored it and so I had to bend to the floor and in my backpack and on the seat to pick them up.  I was wondering if she knew that it was her that made this mess or if she thought it was me because she seemed more annoyed by this.  Anyways, so I was contemplating whether or not I should show some contempt and pick up the notecards with tude, but that really wouldn't do anything except make for awkward ride.

So we rode together for an hour in silence.  She read a book and than slept some..and spaced some.  I know, creepy, I pay attention to whats going on a little bit too much, all while studying - hopefully something stuck in my membrane....

So we rode together for an hour in silence.  Than as she was getting ready to leave and stood up her black umbrella, medium sized, fell and hit my foot pretty hard.  This time I wasn't perturbed but wondered what was going to happen next - would she bend down or would I pick it up?  Translate - would I be a jerk and make her pay for dropping it on my foot and pick it up herself or would I pick it up.  I picked it up and as I handed it to her we made eye contact, she smiled a pretty smile, a genuine smile and said thank you, and I smiled and nodded my head and than she left.  I don't really know the point of sharing this story - but it is what came to mind first.  I think I was wondering what would have happened had I not picked it up and also if she just needed some quite time and solice on that train.  People on the train don't seem happy.

In other ramblings - my brother is listening to loud music in the other room.  I wish I was closer to him.  I think we would get along really well.  I don't know how I can connect with so many people but have a hard time connecting with my own brother.

Time for me to get back to studying.  This was fun.  Thanks for reading if you go this far.  And also, if you can add some profound reasoning to my story - that'd be cool with me because as of right now, it's just an hour in the day.

Alison Garza