This pequenito light of mine: Is it Worth it?

As the reality of going into debt for a degree that doesn't promise any sort of merit or a good paying job sets in; I sometimes become trapped into thinking that it just might not be worth it. Discouraging thoughts begin to fill my mind and I begin to question..well...everything.

In this process of discernment I have met with countless people from all walks of life. Curious about the way God works, I often ask them to reflect and share how they have seen God work in their lives.

Through it all, I am amazed by the way that God works. Stories of heartbreak, stories of trial, stories of uncertainty and stories of grace and goodness. However, there seems to be a pattern. This pattern freaks me out. It seems, those who full-heartedly set out to follow God, whether it be here or abroad, face an insurmountable amount of pain at times. They speak of times of unhappiness and turmoil, and it all sounds so painful. At times I find myself asking... Is it worth it? Why in the world do I want to follow God if it seems that I am promised trials? Where is the love that we are told about since childhood? Why would a loving God allow such pain? I know I"m promised his presence, but that doesn't negate the pain, the pain is still there, and it is very real. Heartbreak is never fun.

Today that was the nagging question on my mind as I set off to the library with books and papers to make a decision on graduate school. I wished the question could have been which school to attend, but instead I was bombarded with thoughts about why in the world I am even trying so hard to study something that will put me in debt and pay almost nothing. Not practical, and not promising - so it seems.

But in reading the Bible..this is what jumped out and comforted my heart.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you. But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, "I believe in God, so I spoke." We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God's grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory. That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

Ok, so I can't comprehend nor see the outcome of everything. However, I know God does love. He loves more than we could ever imagine. If trials lead to someone else experiencing God's love, than it is all worth it.
Shout out to Lisie for showing me this song. It's like Jesus' love song. It's my jam yo.

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."
2 Corinthians 4:7