Culture Shock is for whimps

"Only 6 months, culture shock is for whimps, I'll be just fine" - I told myself.  I think I hadn't quite realized just how much God has been changing me during those 6 months away.

My first day back home my mother wanted to go Christmas shopping because I  had never responded to the 2 or 3 e-mails that asked what I wanted for Christmas.  I never responded because honestly I had no clue and it was summertime in Bolivia, felt like Christmas was months away.  When I stepped off the airplane in Chicago and could see my breath the reality of December and the different worlds I had been living in hit me for the first time.  I had set foot in my homeland and there was no turning back - a new chapter of life to begin.

So as my sister, mother and I drove through the neighborhood I gaped at the "big" houses while my sister commented how small they were in comparison to the ones in California.  Lisie and I were both home for Christmas from opposite sides of the worlds and with different perspectives of what it means to be materially rich.  Strange.

As we pulled into the mall parking lot, I saw all kinds of cars, the NICEST cars I had seen for months and that is when whimpy Alison began to cry.  I hadn't even been inside of the mall yet and I was crying!!  Why in the world was I crying?  I was trying to pinpoint the feelings I was experiencing as those tears just kept rolling and the most I could come up with was a feeling of pure injustice and the realization that my Bolivian friends were no longer around the corner.  "I don't want to be here," I mustered through my tears.  My mom calmly looked back and said, "Alison, this is where God decided to drop you on the earth, this is where you grew up, and we can't explain why he dropped you here and dropped all your friends over there - but be thankful that he has given you a new way to see everything here."  Since childhood I have struggled with why God would have me be born in the United States with nice parents and a nice home, and I was by no means complaining, I just wondered why I always heard the stories of kids who were abused, or orphaned, or starving, and why they didn't get the same opportunities that I did.  My mom's explanation brought back all those moments of pondering and those tears showed just how upset it made me, but the difference from my thinking now and my thinking back than is that I have seen the difference that Christ has on the lives of those in poverty or facing oppression even in those darkest places.  I have witnessed the joy and hope that he gives and have met people that he is using right now who were raised in the most unlikely circumstances.

I still do not know what God is doing in my life or how much more this change back to the States will affect me.  It is amazing how only 6 months can change so much.

This morning one of my best friends from Bolivia, Devon, sent me a link to a prayer that is so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.  She told me that she would be praying for me and asked if I could pray for her as well.  This song is the essence of what God was beginning to teach us during our time together in Bolivia.  Through all the ups and downs we were learning that Trust and Love were two of the most important things that we were called to do even among the uncertainties.  Take a listen and I encourage you to make it your prayer too as the New Year begins.

Pray - Kendall Payne  - Thank you Devon, I miss you!

Right before our trip to the mall, taking a picture to show my Bolivian friends the snow in my front yard, even though it is little.

"God why don't you make me incredibly wise so I know how to make good decisions." - Francis Chan