What keeps me up at night

Sleep has not been my friend.  I get into bed late at night - so tired and ready to dream - about anything really - anything that will make me sleep.  But my mind says NO! and it replays the day.  So I turn on music to try and distract my mind but NO! the music just keeps me up all the more.

Two nights ago we were in the plaza handing out some oatmeal and bread in the main plaza.  Fewer people showed up for the message that day so we had extra to hand out so we walked around looking for people who might want some food.  Normally we pass by these people during the day.  They are usually sitting against the wall with hand extended or cup in hand asking for change - and at night, some can be found sleeping along the sidewalk.  Two days ago instead of passing by - we spoke with them face to face.  One man - one image - I can't shake - was a man with a tin cup in hand sitting with his back against the wall.  He was blind so when we spoke he would turn his head and to give him food we had to verbalize what we were giving and where we were handing it to him.  I remember trying to hold a conversation with him - face to face - he rarely smiled.  Tee had her guitar in hand so I asked him if we could play music for him.  Tee began to play.  So there we sat, Tee and I (Tee is my host sister), after a while we got braver, and asked if we could sing to him.  Tee started playing a Relient K song - Getting into you (click it) - a song I haven't heard in ages - and before we knew it we were both singing the song as best we could.  I was able to translate the one line "I'm going to love you with my life," which made him smile a little.  I wish we could have spent more time next to him - I wish we could start a relationship with him - maybe we can.  But late at night - I wonder what people like him are doing - what they are thinking - do they know they're loved?  How different is his life.

That night we also spoke with two men laying along the sidewalk - ready for bed.  They seemed a little intoxicated but one of them showed us his leg - it was swollen - SO swollen and bruised and infected.  I've never seen anything like that.  He said it goes all the way up to his waist.  He explained that he had been to a hospital but hasn't gone back because they would cut off his leg - he is so scared that it has been a year and the infection has continued to spread. We had a doctor with us - who explained that it is very necessary to go to the hospital and to let them cut off his leg because the infection will spread further and eventually kill him if he doesn't act soon.  The friend of this man was sitting next to him nodding the entire time.  I wish I was a medical person - I wish I could help this man more than just being there and hearing a little of his story - what good is it just to give food, talk, and walk away?  Questions that I can't answer - and things that I can't solve.  I don't quite know where I was going with this entry - just felt like sharing a little of what keeps me up at night.

On another note - I really enjoy hearing from you all about what is going on in the States.  Thank you for all the love you have shown me back home and while abroad.  I was showing my host mom the scrapbook that was put together yesterday and it reminded me of the great people that are in my life - I am super grateful.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend wherever you are.

P.S. If you want to write me a letter my address is

P.O Box 1746, Cochabamba, Bolivia


real easy no?  NO zip code...nada.  :)


Currently the kids are waking up and I can hear Gabby messing around with her brothers.  I'm off to hang laundry on the clothesline.  I'm finally growing up. haha ;)

Alison Garza